Most people, when they go overseas, tally the fantastic things they have accomplished during their stay. Such as how many chateaux they have visited, how much fondue they’ve eaten, or how many tchochkies they’ve purchased for Aunt Bessie.
Me, I tally pickpockets. Specifically, how many pickpockets I’ve beaten up. Don’t let my pretty face fool you—to date, I’ve come in contact with five pickpockets and beaten up all of them.
Actually, I’ve only beaten up two pickpockets. Well, really, I’ve only “beaten up” one. And I didn’t really do the “beating” part, because my black-belted beauty-queen friend was the one who threw the punch. But when my dad was mobbed by a gang of three pickpockets on the Paris metro, I stepped on one’s foot and hit him with an umbrella. Which half-counts.
Pickpockets happen. They happen whether you’re in Paris, London, Madrid, and anyplace in between. And, while every traveler has been warned at least five times to “keep your passport close!” and “split up your money in case your purse gets snatched!”, a lot of us come from nice neighborhoods in a country where the public pickpocket population is pretty … petite.
Yes, it is smart to have a money belt, passport pack, and all those other lovely contraptions that you can staple and glue to your skin to keep your valuables as close as possible. And always be sure to have copies of your passport stored in separate places—and distribute your credit cards, travelers checks, and cash into different pockets or bags to “diversify” your wealth and lessen the risk of losing everything.
But have you noticed that the native citizens of these countries don’t wear money belts? How do they keep from getting robbed blind every five minutes?
Bear in mind: nothing is sure in this life except death and taxes (and even death is probably negotiable). The recommendations below won’t keep you 100% safe from pickpockets—but, with luck, they’ll help you to think like the natives, and maybe even make you look like one, for a while.
1. Be alert.
The reason pickpockets tend to hone in on foreigners is simple: many times, they’re too busy gawking around them or yapping with their companions without paying attention to their valuables. Stay alert. If you look like you know what you’re doing, you’ll more than likely be left alone. Be aware of your surroundings and belongings at all times.
2. Don’t make it easy for them.
Ladies, always hold your bag close to you and, if possible, sling the strap across your body. Gentlemen, put your wallets in your front pocket instead of the back. Close zippers and fasten flaps. If you have a backpack, sling it across your front like you’re carrying a baby.
3. Beware the false friends.
There’s no such thing as a free lunch, and overly-friendly people—especially if something unusual has just happened, like mustard squirting on your shirt or someone offering you a flower—should be treated cautiously. If in doubt, yell at them. The worst thing that can happen is they’ll think you’re insane.
4. Catch them off-guard.
The very nature of a pickpocket is to be sneaky. They want to get in, get what they want, and run away before you even notice anything’s missing. And, trust me, they don’t expect anyone to turn on them. Yank your purse away, turn around quickly—don’t be polite. If someone’s hand is in your pocket, you have every right to grab it, yell, kick, hit, or whatever to get them off of you. And yell at them in whatever language you choose. You’ll have a great story to tell when you get home.
WARNING: Do not, do not, do not play the hero if you feel there is the slightest chance that you or someone else could be injured or worse. Never resist a mugger. Do not chase after bag-snatchers. Please. It’s just stuff.
Even the most well-prepared traveler can find herself on the metro, her hand clapped over her empty pocket as a growing horror spreads over her face. If your valuables end up getting swiped, don’t panic. You’re a smart traveler, and you already have a photocopy of your passport and a list of all your “emergency numbers” for credit card companies. So here’s what you need to do next.
1. Go to the nearest police station and file a report.
2. Call your credit card company, inform them of what has happened, and cancel your cards immediately.
3. If you’ve lost your passport, go immediately to the nearest embassy or consulate to reapply. You will also have to prove your identity, which is where the passport photocopy comes in handy.
4. Call to get your travelers checks’ replaced.
Yes, getting your pocket picked can be horrid. Yes, it can be frightening and discombobulating. But, if you’re prepared, it doesn’t have to ruin your trip. And, no matter what, it’s an adventure—which is, of course, why you travel in the first place.
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